


Indigo Spattered Pie

by LunaNightshade



Category: Homestuck
Genre: Self-Harm, gamkar - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-07-26
Updated: 2013-07-26
Packaged: 2017-12-21 10:04:03
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 675
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/899020
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/LunaNightshade/pseuds/LunaNightshade
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Gamzee is having trouble coping with life.<br/>Tw: Self-Harm</p>
            </blockquote>





	Indigo Spattered Pie

Gamzee bit the foreign tongue in his mouth. It's owner pulled away with a small sound of pain coming from her lips. He laughed at the sight.

"D4MM1T G4MZ33 YOUR3 SUCH 4N 4SS!"

"WeLl If YoU dOn'T fUcKiNg LiKe It GeT tHe MoThErFuCk OuT oF mY bLoCk." He could see the small sting of hurt his comment had caused, though it was masked quite well. He turned his attention to his recupricoon, harvesting slime for his pies.

"W3LL... 1 DON'T R34LLY W4NT TO L34V3." Terezi responded suggestively. 

Gamzee thought a moment. 'Do I really want to pail this bitch right now? Nah.' He looked back to her and said "YoU dOn'T hAvE a ChOiCe AnYmOrE. gEt OuT."

"BUT G4MZEE -"

"BiTcH i SaId GeT tHe MoThErFuCk Out." His gaze only lingered enough to see the forlorn look on her face, then turned back to his pies.

Terezi stomped out quickly. Her steps hid those of Gamzee's moirail, who jumped when he spoke.

"SON OF A BITCH WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO TO TEREZI? I SWEAR I CAN'T LEAVE YOU ALONE FOR A FUCKING MINUTE WITHOUT YOU DOING SOMETHING STUPID. HOW THE FUCK AM I SUPOSED TO GET ANY WORK DONE?" Karkat stepped into the block, scythe in hand, Gamzee suspected he was returning from a practice strife with Strider. That name made   
Gamee's indigo blood boil. 

"FuCk If I kNoW bRoThEr. BuT aS fOr ThE bItCh ThAt JuSt LeFt, JuSt A fEw BlAcK cOmEnTs." Gamzee sat down and took the slime, which was now in a tin, up to his face and licked it.

"'BITCH'? THAT IS NOT A FUCKING BLACK COMMENT GAMZEE. THAT IS YOU BEING A COMPLETE TOOL. HOW THE FUCK CAN YOU BE SO STUPID? I KNOW YOU HAD A SHITTY LUSUS BUT THAT DOESN'T MEAN SHIT TO ME. YOU NEED TO SHAPE YOUR SHIT UP. FAST. I CAN'T HOLD YOUR GODDAMN HAND THROUGH YOUR WHOLE RELATIONSHIP."

Gamzee lowered the pie. Karkat was right. He was a failure. He couldn't even figure out the basics of being a Troll. A frown grew on his face.

"DAMMIT." Karkat put his scythe down on Gamzee's desk and crouched down before him, putting a comforting hand on his shoulder. "LISTEN I DON'T MEAN TO YELL AT YOU. BUT I CAN'T ACT AS IF THIS IS RIGHT."

"Go..." Gamzee whispered. 

"WHAT?"

"I sAiD gO. pLeAsE i... I nEeD tO tHiNk."

"OKAY, BUT I AM HERE IF YOU NEED ME." Karkat promptly left.

Gamzee sat motionless, listening to Karkat's footsteps fade away, thinking about what he had said.

'He's right. It's not right. YOU'RE not right. You have failed at everything you have tried. Your friends all hate you. You're not fulfilling your black quadrant properly. Tavros don't flush back. You fail at being a purple blood. Your lusus even abandoned you. No one wants you.'

Gamzee noticed that Karkat had left his scythe on his desk. He reached over and picked it up, poking the spike with his index finger. 

It hardly hurt. He could barley felt a thing. Though a pinprick of blood started to show. he found it oddly relaxing to see himself bleeding.

'Wait, what is it that humans do with knives? Don't they run them along their skin when they are sad?'

Gamzee put his wrist in the curve of the scythe, then dragged it sideways. 

That time he felt it. He took a sharp breath. 

'Don't you see? the perfect opportunity to punish yourself is in your hand. With everything you've done, you need punished.'

Gamzee placed his wrist back in position. He slit it again, deeper. Then he wiped away the blood which was pouring down his arm and did it once more. 

Gamzee felt pain like none before. He could see his bones. The dagger went right through his vein. He smiled knowing this was the end of the pain he caused. This would be the smile he died with.

He took his finger and wrote on the wall in his own blood.

I'm SoRrY i WaSn'T gOoD eNoUgH.


End file.
